Closure

     Getting back to normal after this miscarriage has not been easy for me.  My body has not wanted to cooperate and I have been left only with questions and concern.  Even after two visits with doctors I haven't known what was going on with my body.  Why wasn't I getting better?  Last night I found out why and recieved the closure I didn't know I needed.

 

     I wrote on September 19th that I felt cheated, as I had no little fetus to say goodbye to.  Last night I was given that and I am still shocked at the peace it has brought to me.  I thought that opportunity was lost to me and I felt that was alright.  But last night I realized how different it was to actually have something to say goodbye to.  The best way to describe how I feel is that even though I thought I had it before, now I really do feel Closure.  The worst is behind me and I feel certain I can finally get back to normal. 

 

    As I lay awake contemplating this trial turned miracle my mind began putting together the following words:   



 

They Miss Out!

     I always find it amusing to read books that have characters under the age of five.  Maybe it is the limitation one has through the writing medium, or maybe these writers don’t have much experience with toddlers but, they never seem to get it right.  Having three children of my own under the age of five, I am amazed at how little you actually hear from these little ones in the works of writing I have read.

     An accurate depiction of life with a toddler would need page after page of description.  I don’t know how many conversations I have had that have been interrupted time and time again by one of my special little girls.  Whether it’s Cora wanting to show me a dance move, Brooke needing a snack, or Ally just wanting me to pick her up I find it rare to get through a conversation smoothly when they are around.  Some days I even have to abandon any attempt at conversation until after they are in bed. 

 

 

 

 

     No, my children are not little terrors; they just do what kids do.  They need attention, fall down, make messes, laugh, dance, fight, play, get hungry, and then make messes again.  Some days I feel I am caught up in a tornado, being spun through my day leaving some chaos behind.  I never get the correct sense of how large a part children should play when I am reading a book with young characters.  It always makes me laugh to see how writers don’t seem to take the time to really dive into these potentially wonderful, little characters.  I know that my children make up a large part of my day to day activities.  I may be terrible at remembering the details of our conversations and interactions, but I never forget the emotions I feel.  The good and the bad are worth every moment and if I were a writer I would want to catch the real emotion behind life with a little one!  

One week of Organizing!

     Here is the result of one week of organizing.  Iwas informed by my sister in law that she morphed her system from a book by Merrilee Boyack, "Parenting Breakthrough" and from a website called, "Fly lady."  After trying my version of her system this past week, I must say that I am happy with the results.  Some tasks didn’t get done in the way I may have done them but time was saved for me to take care of a list of chores I made for myself.  Also I spent some quality time with each of my girls helping them to complete their tasks. 

     Saturday brought a little glitch as Cora, who was excited about sweeping and mopping all week, all of a sudden didn’t want to do her job.  It took some time in the naughty chair and modifications of how she would mop to get her to finish her job.  In the end Brooke helped her and they both were crawling around on hands and knees with a rag.  She even did some skating across the floor on her rag.  Was it a beautiful, perfectly mopped floor?  No, but she accomplished a job she felt proud of, just as she was proud of her work wiping the tables and countertops all week long. 

 

     I have had some requests to see my arranged job chart so here you go.  I had to add Jeremy and my nephew who lives with us so I had enough people to cover the main chores I wanted done each day.  You’ll notice my name is not on the chart.  That’s because I get to help Cora, Brooke, and Ally plus I have my own separate job chart to take care of each week.  I don't have a separate job for Monday since I often sub that day and I do laundary on Thurs and Fri. since I sub Fridays and hate laundary.  On Tues and Wed I have swing jobs that rotate through a four week schedule such as deep cleaning the fridge, oven, microwave, windows, walls, cabinets, dishwasher pan and other various jobs that typically don't get done ever.  So far having this system has motivated me to take over my house rather than let my house take control of me!

 

Organize

     For a long time I have wanted to get more organized in accomplishing the chores I need to complete around the house. Too many have been going undone as I have tried to keep up with the chores that daily need done and take up much of my time. I have looked at a couple ideas of organizing myself and this past week I started to write my chore chart of what I would accomplish each day. It still seemed daunting however, as I realized the daily things took up enough time that it made it hard to do anything else and still have plenty of time to play with my girls. Then I spent the weekend at my brother’s house watching his six kids.

     I always knew my brother had married a wonderful women but I saw that even more this weekend as I saw how her house ran. Their children range in ages from 18 months to 11 1/2 years old. It was amazing to see all of them excluding the baby take care of chores before they left for school and again when they returned home. Each of them was assigned a small duty to perform before breakfast. For most of them it took no longer than five minutes to complete but, the collective effort took the pressure of me feeling I needed to keep up with cleaning after six kids. When they returned home they all had a chore outside taking care of the animals. The tasks assigned were each small, but with everyone pitching in even those chores took less than five minutes.

     I was able to see in action the old saying, "Many hands, make light the work." I realized I haven't been using my resources as well as I should. I have a husband, three kids, and a nephew who could all pitch in to help with the little tasks that take up so much time in my day. If they all helped out with those little jobs it would leave me with extra time to do the other needed chores that so often were neglected. With her ideas in tow as well as some of my own I sat down Sunday and created my own family chore chart that I am confident will work!

     Everyone now has a small morning chore they should do before leaving for work or school. I team up with the two youngest as we get to stay home together. I will have them do the same little chore each morning for the week so it is easier to remember what their job is.(Mostly this is for Cora but I am sure Jeremy and my nephew will benefit from this as well) Along with their daily chore they have been assigned a weekly chore they have the week to accomplish.

     I have tried and failed many different tactics to get chores done. I realized this weekend that most importantly I have failed to give my children responsibility. They have always helped me with jobs but the responsibility was mine not theirs. While assigning out jobs last night I realized how mistaken I have been. Cora was so excited to have a job she was in charge or that she wanted to sweep and mop right then. She did her morning chore like a veteran and Brooke and Ally did a wonderful job too.

     In principle I know I should have been doing this all along but, I just haven’t seen it in practice in a way that encouraged me to take action. After day one, even with subbing half the day I feel I accomplished more than I do in a typical day. I am so thankful that even though I may not be around my siblings very often, I can still learn from them just as much as I did when we were together growing up.

Photo

 My sister in law asked for one of my drawings.  I have a photo of Cora that I absolutely love!  I have always wanted to try and draw her from this photo but have never taken the time.  Also I gave all my sketch books and drawing paper to my nephew about three years ago.  After staring my class I went out and purchased some paper and found the photo of Cora.  Here is the photo with my attempt at drawing it. 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Now that I look at them together in the same size I can clearly see where I need to do some work.  But, not bad after not drawing for nearly ten years!  

Exhausted

     I don't know how I ever got things done at home while working full time. I guess that was when I only had one child and now I have three. I have worked part-time since having my second and third kids and have been so thankful for the extra time at home. I subbed a full day today. I had a blast and was reminded that teaching is definitely the profession for me. However, when I got home I still had soooo much I wanted to do. I went grocery shopping, ran a few other errands, canned pickles and eggs, helped with dinner, had family home evening and put dishes away. My feet are killing me and Jeremy still wants me to help him make some banana pudding. Not to mention the three baskets of clean laundry that need put away and the last load I need to get done before bed.

Pickled Eggs!!  We are so excited to try them in a month!

    On a positive note I have had more energy today than I have had in about two weeks. It felt so good to want to work that I think I have overdone myself. And after only two hours of subbing I had a lady who took some of the kids out for testing tell me the kids told her I was one of the best subs they have ever had! The students also told me they liked my hair better with its new color than the one on my badge!!! Pics of that to come later!

I want to do to much!

     I have let some time pass between postings and I pondered last night as to why. I reflected upon all the tasks I wished to complete from day to day. Some of them are completed and some are not. Those are usually short term tasks and writing for this blog is a long term thing. So I had to think of those activities that required daily or weekly effort. If I took time to write those activities down I would have quite the list. Write a book, draw, photo albums, preschool curriculum, exercise, crochet, read, home remodel, garden, yard work, the list can go on and on. I could only come to one conclusion; I have too much that I want to do.

     On top of it all I have three beautiful daughters to care for each day and balancing my time with them and with tasks I want to do isn't always even. Most often time with them wins out, and that is probably a good thing, but I am sometimes left with a sense of failure as I have started yet another project I can't finish.

     I find that I get really excited to start a new project like this blog or exercising. I do really good for a week or so and then something else becomes more important. As I neglect the projects I had been so excited about I feel a bit guilty that my time is going somewhere else and I have one more project I haven’t completed or kept with. Earlier this year I was really excited to write a book. I spent a month putting ideas on paper and even have three chapters written. Once summer hit, yard work and gardening took over. I have looked at my book once or twice since then but haven’t returned to work otherwise.

     I have chair covers that took me over a year to complete. I made half of them within a day and then the material sat while other activities took priority. The really sad thing is, I actually had the other half cut out and pinned ready to sew. When I finally sat down to finish the project it took me a whole of three hours. How pathetic I feel when I know I am leaving simple tasks unfinished.

     How do you manage to stick to it? I need help on that one. Jeremy tries to focus my mind and remind me of the project I have been working on. He always uses house work as an example. He can clean a room and only work on that one room. When I clean a room while returning toys or dishes to where they belong, I also stop to pick up a few things in the other rooms I enter. I try to stand up for multi-tasking but maybe he has a point. What are your suggestions?