Release

     As a youth I loved to draw.  I even dabbled with watercolors a little, but I was never very good.  My senior year in high school I took an Art humanities course which I enjoyed immensely.  Drawing was a release for the challenges of the day and I found great solace in loosing myself in the task of creation.  In college I worked on a secondary teaching degree with a major in math and I was deciding between a minor in Art or Spanish.  Before leaving on my mission and changing to an elementary teaching degree I took a class in drawing and a class in ceramics to help me decide.  Once again, I felt the solace and relief that allowed me to free up much of the stress in my life.  And then, life caught me and took me on some incredible journeys that didn't allow much time for art.

     I served an LDS mission in, Rio de Janeiro Brasil.  It was an experience of a life time.  With the closeness of the spirit, stress seemed to dissipate.  When I returned, I continued my education only I changed from secondary education to elementary, eliminating my need for Art classes.  In my push to get done with school I didn't take time, even for extra classes in Art.  Two years after returning from Brasil I married Jeremy and graduated college.  Then work and family life took over.  Occasionally I would pull out some paper and pencil but I didn't put much time into my projects.  When my girls came along time for drawing seemed an impossible idea.  I did work on some crafts and sewing projects but the feeling of freedom just was not the same.  Probably since the projects I was doing served a purpose to better my home and family.  It wasn't something I did just for me. 

     A few weeks ago while signing my daughters up for dance, at the recently opened Leavitt Center in Pocatello; I noticed they were offering an Art class for teens and adults.  I hadn't drawn in years and the prospect thrilled me.  Sure I could just get out some pencils and go buy some nice paper and draw at home, but with three busy daughters and a hard working husband needing, time for just me, doesn't happen.   If I had an obligation to go to a class I payed for, I couldn't escape it.  There would be no girls or husband to demand my attention.  I jumped on the chance.

     This Tuesday, the day I started this blog, I went to my first class.  My day had been super busy as I ran all over getting tools, parts and training to fix some leaky water lines in my home.  I was ten minutes late as I barely finished the water lines so I could take the shower I desperately needed.  Even though we did a basic drawing exercise I had done in every other class I had taken, I couldn't believe how freeing it was.  I don't claim to be a good artist, but I sure love that medium of expression.  It wasn't necessary for me to think about anything, other than where to put a line to form the figure in my view on paper.  When the class was done I couldn't believe how alive I felt!  It was like taking a deep breath of air that continued to fill my lungs for the remainder of the evening. 

     And so this blog began.  Feeling so alive, I had to find a way to release some of that vigor in a creative way, a way that would only involve me, my thoughts, and a form of expression.  I didn't have any drawing paper so writing became my outlet for the night.  I was excited to feel the same sense of release and freedom in writing as I had felt earlier in my art.  In nine years I haven't felt this kind of freedom to create.  That doesn't mean I haven't been happy, it has just been a different kind of happy.  The joy I have felt over the past nine years has mostly been joy in serving my family and others around me.

     Taking time to serve myself has been an eye opening experience.  It is one I look forward to experiencing more often, as I explore the possibilities these two creative mediums will put forth along the path I follow in life.